I don't love you anymore!

I Don’t Love You Anymore!

These words “I don’t love you anymore” have been said over and over throughout the ages. Sometimes they have been hurled in defiance, sometimes in anger, hurt, or resentment. Sometimes they have been said softly, sadly, sometimes uttered as much to the astonishment of the speaker as to the hearer. But no matter when, or how, or where they have been said, they often bring pain, and grief in their wake.

Somewhere, somehow, the person who once loved, no longer does. There is no excitement about the person or object that was loved. In fact, often there is indifference. This state of being did not happen overnight, although it might appear as if it did. Usually, we grow out of love over a period of time. We feel we have changed, or the other person has changed and we resist the change. We are really saying, I thought I loved you but now I don’t. Whatever the reason may be, whatever brought me to this place, the fact remains, I don’t love you anymore.

Left to pick up the pieces, the shattered one tries to move on, never to be the same. Some feel the experience made them a better person, while others are left angry and embittered. Many are upset over the time spent, the wasted hours, the time invested, only to be left with ashes. Some mete out a mere existence after “failing” at love, as they see it. “It is not for me…” But they live on, mere shadows eking out an existence in a harsh, unfriendly, cruel world. This is a world that may roar its applause today, but shun you tomorrow.

And into this world we are born. What are we to make of it all? Perhaps we feel we can outdo our parents. Perhaps we feel we have it all figured out. The secret we feel, is to be popular, to have lots of friends, to be engaging, charming, embracing. We say and do all the right things. We say happy birthday when we should. We remember to send a card expressing our condolences for the loss of that person’s loved one. We have got it all together. We know the dos and the donts.

Then there are those of us who really couldn’t care less about what others think of us, of our behavior, our actions. We live defiant lives, screaming our anger, our pain, begging for acknowledgment but screaming “Just leave me alone!” We are constantly on edge. People are afraid to approach us because we become downright mean and prickly. Then we wonder why our phones don’t ring as much, but we tell ourselves we don’t really care.

Unfortunately, millions are living lives of quiet desperation. We have enough sense to know something is missing, but we are not sure what it is. Just like our ancestors we plan to live our lives the way that pleases us, then to die and end it all. After all, we came into this world. No one asked us if we wanted to be here, but here we are, a part of the ‘human’ race.

Yet we feel barely human. Sometimes in spite of ourselves we smile, or laugh. Something or someone managed to get under our skin, but only for the moment.
Where is God in all of this? Oh, we dismissed Him a long time ago, because thinking about Him hurt too much, made us vulnerable to feelings we don’t like to have. So we leave God to the Christians.

Those who just don’t fit into any category, you are the rest, who are all or none of the above-no voice, no opinion, no decision, the “If it feels good do it population.” You just live for today, and who cares about tomorrow. You drink, or smoke or eat your sorrows away, and you make sure you are never ever alone. Let the music play, turn on the television, or the radio, get on the computer, but DO NOT LEAVE ME ALONE!

Is there hope? Is there hope in all of this? Where can one find peace, and sweet release? Millions reject God as an answer to life’s dilemma, to love’s dilemma. And many of us, who would not dare categorize ourselves, silently wonder if we missed the point. Because sadly at the end of the day we recognize that we don’t love anymore, if ever we did.

Young and old alike, are restless today. In or out of church we are constantly on the move, looking for a quick fix, where there is none. Relationships leave us empty because the only person we learned to love was ourselves-and that is if we can call that kind of self hatred love.

So, is there hope? Is there hope in all of this? Yes there is. God exists, whether you say He does or not. God loves, whether you love Him or not. God stands at the door of your heart, whether you open your heart to Him or not. Sadly, it is your choice, it is your life, or is it?

One day you will have to give an account-I will have to give an account. We will have to tell God what we did with His priceless gift-the gift of His only begotten Son, Jesus. At the end of the day, our railing, our ranting, our opinionated view of life-will have to give way to the truth. Truth exists, whether we acknowledge its existence or not. So if we deny its existence, we are living a lie.

Are you living a lie today? Or are you finding peace and sweet release in the arms of Jesus?

Where exactly are you today?

Are you saying “Jesus, I don’t love you anymore?” Are you lost today?

Jesus is still knocking at your door, saying tenderly: Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest-Matthew 11:28

What is your answer to HIM?

Leila Rose-Gordon
Written 12-10-11