I have waded through many waters

I have waded through the slough of despond.
I have waded through the waters of bitterness.
There have been days when the slime of criticism
caused me to lose my balance completely

Teetering near the edge I have fought the darkness
that threatened to engulf me
and the self doubting that slurped up my
confidence like a starving cat slurping milk

Sometimes I could feel my grip losing hold of reasoning
and clutching onto nameless dread and fear
Swept up in a tornado of hopelessness
and despair

My mind spinning and my heart reeling
from the onslaught of unanswered questions
I have fought like a wildcat to keep
my sanity and hang onto my faith

When silence echoed back and I bit
my lip in sore vexation
When my thoughts were at enmity
with my quest for peace

Tasting on my lips the agony of defeat
I cursed my stubborn refusal
to acknowledge that I had come
to the end of  the road

Never wanting it to be said that faith
had died in me
I faced the hurt of knowing
I toyed with the steely chains
of disbelief

Begging your forgiveness
I acknowledged the pain
you bore for me
and bowed my head in grief

Wading through these murky waters
is not easy to do
and these are not places I care
to visit frequently

Seeing sunlight ahead
I summon my last ounce of strength
Feet heavy as lead I move slowly
purposefully towards the thin ray
of light

Dragging myself out of the murky depths
I grab hold of the vine as I am pulled
up the steep, slippery slope
for what seems like eternity

Then at last I feel solid ground
beneath my feet and I have to
put my hand over my eyes so
brilliant and dazzling
is the light

Safe at last I rest
happy and confident
Basking in love and grace
and yes, somewhat shamefaced.

Leila Rose-Gordon (9-12-14)
(c) 2014 Leila Rose-Gordon All Rights Reserved

Is there hope for the depressed Christian?

So many people are getting depressed these days, it seems. The state of the economy, the rate of unemployment, the scarcity of natural resources, the lack of food, clothing and shelter for many, dashed hopes, broken dreams, frightening encounters...the cause of depression is many and varied. Yet many Christians are afraid to admit they feel depressed at times. They feel they dare not breathe a word of this to family and friends, less they be deemed an outcast, or somehow unworthy or unfit for their calling. So when I read these words of comfort penned by Charles Swindoll, they resonated with me so I am sharing them with you. It is my sincere hope that God will keep you safe until the storm passes by [Leila Rose-Gordon].

November 28, 2011
Words of Comfort
by Charles R. Swindoll
Read Job 3:1–26
In the early l960s when a Christian suffered from a depression that resulted in Job's kind of thinking and candid admission, you never said so publicly. You swallowed your sorrow. The first book I read on this subject, covering emotional turmoil and mental illness among Christians, was considered heresy by most of my evangelical friends.
The pervasive opinion then was simple: Christians didn't have breakdowns. Furthermore, you certainly didn't stay depressed! You know what term was used to describe those who struggled with deep depression in the early and mid-sixties? "Nervous." "He's got a nervous problem." Or simply, "She's nervous." And if you ever, God help you, had to be hospitalized due to your "nervous" disorder, there just wasn't a Christian word for it. I repeat, you didn't tell a soul. Shame upon shame that you didn't trust the Lord through your struggle and find Him faithful to help you "get over" your depression.
I remember being told by a seminary prof, who talked to us about assisting families with funerals, that if you did funerals for those who had committed suicide and the deceased was a Christian, we were never to mention that fact. Frankly, it didn't sound right then, and it doesn't sound right today. Shame-based counsel never sounds right because it isn't right! And I didn't know enough to know that Job 3 was in the book back then. Had I known, I would have said, "Hey, what about Job?"
I want to write to you who are reading these lines who may be in the pit, struggling to find your way back. It's possible that things have gotten so dark that you need a competent Christian psychologist (or psychiatrist) to help you find your way. The most intelligent thing you can do is locate one and go. In fact, go as long as you need to go. Make sure that the counselor really does know the Lord Jesus and is truly competent, able to provide the direction you need so you can work your way through your maze of misery. And, I would add, "God bless you for every hour you spend finding your way out of the hole that you have been in. There is hope. Our faithful God will see you through."

Excerpted from Charles R. Swindoll, Great Days with the Great Lives(Nashville: W Publishing Group, 2005). Copyright © 2005 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights reserved. Used by permission.